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Advice for men

Get where she’s coming from

Whatever stage of life your partner is in, the woman in your life has to cope with hormonal shifts that can make her difficult to handle. Usually, a little understanding will go a long way.

Dealing with her PMS

Symptoms of the monthly cycle vary from woman to woman, but you might be faced with crying fits, massive calorie consumption, unexplained irritation, and sulking over the dreaded bloat.

The first thing is to never ask if it’s because of her period – it will only make her angrier if you invalidate her feelings by pulling the crazy card. Save any big news or important conversations for when she can deal like a rational adult again. With hormones magnifying her emotions, small gifts and simple treats will go over incredibly well, and she will appreciate your thoughtfulness more than ever. Schedule get-togethers at home or hiking trips for when she isn’t feeling physically uncomfortable and needing a quiet space to feel fat in. Absolutely do not make any remarks about your normally healthy girlfriend eating an entire slab of chocolate in one sitting – instead, suggest that you two go for a walk; the fresh air and exercise will improve her mood and she’ll love that you didn’t try to be the diet police. Do your share of the chores without being asked – and if she wants a bit more help with hers because she feels like being looked after, just take it for the team.

All in all, a well timed “What colour box of tampons or pads can I bring home for you, darling?” will score you immense points.

Supporting your pregnant partner

If you thought PMS was bad, that’s nothing compared to pregnancy, when your lady’s hormone production TRIPLES. She may want you to hold her and soothe the tears in the morning and have destroyed an appliance with an axe in the afternoon.

Not only is her body flooded with hormones affecting her emotions, but she could also be suffering from any number of aching, swelling, painful, exhausted, and nauseated physical side effects that would make anyone crabby or depressed. At least during the first few months, keep your mouth shut and agree or apologise – just remind yourself that she might not always be in a position to control how she feels or reacts right now, and that’s very frustrating for her too.

During her pregnancy, there could be any number of factors that lead to her feeling sore or not so fresh – how about getting her a care package of Lil-lets Intimate Care products, with some wipes and washes? A more confident woman is a happier woman.

After the birth, hormone levels drop rapidly and this slump can make her very down, especially in conjunction with the stress and exhaustion of a new baby. Just be patient, say yes to everything without question and support her; she’ll be back to her old self soon. In extreme cases, this hormonal bottoming-out can lead to post-natal depression – if you’re worried about her, get her to the GP.

Going through menopause together

According to Dr. Erika Schwartz, at least 75% of problems between men and women in midlife are due to a lack of communication and understanding about the changes in behaviour associated with changing hormone levels.

Your older woman is surrounded by images of perfect young bodies all day long – don’t be surprised if she starts to feel undesirable when she looks at her 50-year-old body in the mirror. Just telling her she’s beautiful probably won’t help either; she feels too fat and ugly to trust you. All you can do is be kind and supportive – also, look at your track record. Have you always been attentive and made her feel special? If not, now would be a good time to start.

Women can also lose their sex drive when they go through menopause, which is equally devastating for both partners! The main thing is to communicate honestly about why she’s lost interest. Is it because she feels unattractive, or a more simple case of the decrease in oestrogen? It could also be due to the vaginal dryness so common at this stage of life, which can make intercourse painful or uncomfortable – try our Easy Glide Gel from the Intimate Care range to take care of the problem.

Whatever the reason, the spark can be recaptured - and it’s totally individual. Some women in their fifties experience a spike in their libido, so it’s really a case of wait and see.

You will also be experiencing your own changes as your levels of testosterone production drop and you most likely gain weight too. The important thing is to both keep a sense of humour about the situations you’re experiencing, and to go through them together rather than have them come between you.

Further reading

For advice on the best ways to deal with your hormonal wife or girlfriend:

Read More

For tips on preparing for a baby and supporting your pregnant wife:

Read More

For insights on dealing with your partner’s menopause with understanding and sensitivity:

Read More

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Frequently asked questions from parents


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How old will my daughter be when she starts her period?

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Which products should I advise my daughter to use when she starts her period?

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Can my daughter use tampons when she starts her period?

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